Hey Fatty!

Sunday’s Workout Wanda: A 4 mile run, just for fun with an avg pace of 9:35.
Monday’s Workout Wanda: A 2.1 mile run in 18:11, pace of 8:39 + upper body lifting

I hope everyone is having a great Memorial Day…I spent mine at work. Although I did wear red, white and blue, so it wasn’t all bad, except that my “red” was really maroon corduroy capris. I’m a freaking fashionista! And we had BBQ chicken on the grill for supper so I guess that counts as celebrating the coming of summer too.

On a slightly more solemn note – head over to The Pioneer Woman and leave a comment on her post saying “thank you” to everyone who has served for our country, for every comment left during Memorial Day she will donate $1 to Operation Homefront. Do it. Now.

And now onto the good stuff…stories about my mom’s visit last week. Stories that may involve driving up a ski slope and having a finicky horse that tried to ditch me in the middle of the woods. You know, the stories I tell that make everyone else feel normal, or at least sane.

So, after the Fargo Marathon last Saturday my mom and I eagerly leapt into her tiny Toyota and giddly began our 15 hour drive to Colorado. Okay, it wasn’t eager, there was no leaping and no one was giddy…we begrudgedly climbed into the car and drove over the speed limit in hopes to get to Denver faster.

…hungry bird, parked illegally, nomming on a moth…

…oh, lunar eclipse, where for art thou?!…

We finally made it on Sunday afternoon…and promptly headed to bed. I had big stuff planned for us come Monday morning and I don’t mess around when it comes to “active tour guiding”!

The initial plan was to get up bright and early then head out to Dakota Ridge to take in the sunrise over Denver. Thanks to my ability to find the snooze button in the dark this didn’t quite happen. We made it up to Dakota Ridge and got our hike on but the sun was already above the cityscape. Oh well, it was still gorgeous and the weather was great!

From our accidental discovery of Dakota Ridge on our mountain bikes I knew this wouldn’t be an easy hike so I figured we would hike out about half way then turn around getting us roughly 2 miles. That didn’t happen and this time it wasn’t my fault. About 1.5 miles in Mom got mesmerized by the views and decided we were hiking the full ridge – which would take us to 3ish miles, plus require a 1.5 mile walk down the road to the car. Okay, I was game.

{from our ride/hike-a-bike a few weeks back}

Only this plan didn’t work out either. It was all going good until we made our way down to the road and Mom spotted a pretty little bench. She decided it looked comfy, that her legs were tired and that it would just be quicker for me to run down the road to the car. Besides, I needed to test out my post-marathon runner legs, right? Psht.

The run was all down hill and it actually felt pretty good. My quads and hamstrings were tight and it felt good to run them out – my right leg was a lot tighter than my left, probably from the 15+ hours of being ready to hit the gas/brake on the drive! After picking Mom up and heading home for breakfast we got ourselves ready for a drive up to Breckenridge where we were putting to use a Groupon for a guided horseback ride on Peak 8 and 9.

This is where things got interesting. We arrived with time to spare but I couldn’t figure out where the heck to go. Turns out we had to drive up the mountain. I got to literally drive up the ski runs I’m usually snowboarding down. It felt weird. And a little crunchy when Chris’s fancy Subaru bottomed out on some of the outrageous “speed bumps” they had. What the hell is up with Colorado and their ridiculous speed bumps?!


We eventually got about half way up the mountain when we came up on some temporary stables and a trailer of sorts that I recognized from its winter time home at the base of the mountain where it was the meeting point for sleigh rides.


We got all registered, signed away our lives and met our horses. It was just me, Mom and another couple with their small kids – so four horses. I got to befriend Comet, who was supposedly a friendly horse that I got just because I mentioned preferring cows to horses.


Apparently Comet wasn’t too keen on being called friendly. We were plodding right along as the back of the pack with no problems, then he started tossing his head and snorting a big but I figured it was just because Mom’s horse kept farting on us. Seriously, it farted the entire ride, even lost some weight and had to have its saddle tightened!


We made our way into the trees and our guide told us the horses may get a little close to the trees and if they do just push/pull them away so there is room for our legs to pass through. While we were stopped and chatting about something or another Comet decided his neck scratched and put a nearby tree to use. No big deal…until we started out again and he choose not to move away from the tree. My poor knee cap got up close and personal with a rather hard pine tree. Dumb horse.


It seemed as though Comet knew I was getting a bit bored with the ride. After we crossed over a bit of snow the guide stopped to tell us about a run or something similar {I really couldn’t hear much}. Comet’s head went down but I thought he was just snorting snow off his legs or something…until he started going down. Down…to the ground. He was going to add a bit of excitement to this ride!


Yes, my horse decided to lay down while I was still sitting upright in the saddle. He just flopped right over. I felt it coming so I had my legs out of the way and was able to roll off him. And he didn’t just want to lay down, he wanted to roll around. Apparently he was itchy. After he got his roll on we got him back upright and I was back in the saddle and ready to go.


I’ve spent enough time around large animals to know how to act and handle them but I was extra alert that little fiasco. Needless to say Comet didn’t get to nibble one on blade of grass or even get his head down far enough to sniff it – he was not going down again! Silly animal.

…meet Comet, post roll on the ground, note how securely I am holding those reigns!…

…no grass for you!…

The ride was alright. It wasn’t phenomenal, it was amazing, it was alright. I’m glad I got to go horseback riding in the mountains but I would not have paid the full $60/person for this 1.5 hour guided ride on Breckenridge. If I ever did go horseback riding again it wouldn’t happen at a resort and it would have more interesting scenery. Not that I need to worry, Chris would never go on a horseback ride with me, I’m just lucky I had Mom in town to go otherwise the Groupon would have gone to waste!

…on a run at Breck on Peak 9, I believe…

We made it back to the car and down the mountain, at which point I had to send Chris a quick text message. He was being the responsible adult and was actually at work earning money while Mom and I gallivanted around the country side so I figured he could use a little entertainment in his day…

Heidi: My horse laid down in the middle of the trail…with me still on its back!
Chris: Fatty.
Heidi: Wha…?!
Chris: You just crashed a horse into the ground. Fatty.

Yup, he is a real catch. No really. I found this hysterical and in some odd way it makes me proud of him, proud to call him mine. We are weird like that, and I like it!

Speaking of whom {is that even a grammatically correct phrase?!}, I am off to bed and hopefully I can take up snoring just for the night so I can annoy Chris while he nerds out on Diablo. Someone has a “real job” that lets him have the holiday off and still get paid for it. Barumph.


Hey Fatty! — 12 Comments

    • To get from the main road to our apt I have to go over 4-6 speed bumps…in approximately 0.5 miles. Insane, I hate them!
      And boys, aren’t they just the sweetest things ever! 😉

  1. Funny! Glad you were able to get off safely. I went horseback riding once as a kid and my saddle started to slide to one side. My horse knelt down so that I could get off. I can’t imagine a horse just deciding to roll around!
    Kathy recently posted..Blazing Long RunMy Profile

    • Yeah, the big jerk just laid down as if I wasn’t there! And I mean, its a horse, what am I supposed to do?! {apparently yank up on the reigns but I didn’t know that!}
      I think I’ll stick to hiking/biking/riding in the mountains!

    • Forget sugar coating life…we got right for realism!

      Oh…the poor car. So glad he was the one driving. I think the most damage was some teeny tiny scratches, but they match right up with the not-so-teeny-tiny scratch I may have caused a while back so its all good! Besides, next time we go for La Plata his car and definitely stay at the main trailhead, you know, with the trail being so close and all! 😉

    • Well, Mom did say she was jealous of how quickly the horse lost weight and needed its saddle cinched…and if it was from farting I can’t blame Mom for being jealous because she would be a bean pole if that method worked! Try riding in a car with her after fried onion rings – good thing it wasn’t a rainy day!

  2. i almost bought the same living social deal! i am glad i didn’t miss out on the best, most epic horsey adventure of all time. the small voice inside of me that says, “no fun until the bar exam is over!” sometimes wins out.

    i haven’t seen too many terrible speed bumps in denver yet, but i did encounter a “dip.” i saw all these signs that said dip, and i was thinking about dip like the kind you eat even though i knew that’s not what the signs meant, when all of a sudden BOOM, and i bottomed out super hard. this is like, 5 days after getting all new wheels on my car. stupid colorado and its stupid dippy roads.

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